Tailor Trash

Tailor. (this was in response to the daily one word prompt given by WordPress – Tailor).

It was late on a sunny Saturday afternoon when I pushed through the crowds at the local car boot sale, hoping to pick up some vinyl albums for my record player. I couldn’t wait to update my collection with some old classics; Bad Company, Thin Lizzy maybe even some classic 80’s pop tunes.

“Hey, I love the jacket.”

I spun around to see a wild-haired, bearded man smiling at me.

“The jacket,” he nodded. “My guess is it’s an original Yves Saint Laurent? Late 60s?”

“Yes,” I said, surprised he could tell.

“I’m a tailor and I love working with vintage clothes. They just don’t make them like that anymore,” he said.

Looking at his stall, I saw an ancient treadle sewing machine and boxes of coloured threads. The sign said “Stitched Up”.

“This is my Singer machine,” he said. “I still use this to do all the alterations.”

I laughed, thinking how time consuming that must be.

“Can I see your jacket?” he asked.

“Yes, of course,” I said, taking it off and handing it to him.

I watched as he examined it closely.

“It’s stunning. It must have made quite a dent in your piggy bank,” he said, stroking it as if it was a puppy.

“Actually, it was my mum’s. I found it packed away in the attic along with some other nice pieces, but sadly, it’s getting worn out. Look,” I said, pointing to a bursting seam.

He looked closer.

“Not a problem,” he said. “I could easily fix that for you.”

“Really?” I said. “How much would it cost?” I asked, aware I’d only brought £50 with me.

“For you… I’ll do it for £20.”

“Great.” I said, relieved. “When can you do it?”

“I could do it now, if you can give me half an hour.”

“That’s so kind. I’ll go and collect my albums and be back around three thirty,” I said, checking my watch.

“It’ll be ready and waiting for you,” he said, with a cheeky grin.

It was a little more than forty minutes later when I made my way back to his stall. Turning the corner my stomach sank. The stall was empty. I ran over to the man two stalls down from him.

“Do you know where he went?” I said, gesturing to the ‘Stitched Up’ stall.

“He’s new here. I’ve never seen him before,” he said, shaking his head. “He packed up and left quite quickly. Are you alright Miss?”

“What have I done?” I said, biting my lip.

“You know, come to think of it, Ali from the burger van was talking last week about someone who mends vintage clothing,” he said, rubbing his chin.

I looked over to where he was pointing but the burger van was gone.

“What did he say about him?”

“He said there had been complaints about a guy who claimed to mend designer clothes, but disappeared with both the clothes and the deposits left for them.”

There was only one thing left to do. I took out my mobile and phoned the police, giving a perfect description of him and telling them that he was trying to sell me, what I believed to be, stolen goods. One item was a brown, suede designer jacket, the other was a diamond and emerald bracelet. Both items looked similar to articles shown on last night’s crime programme apparently stolen from a local antique business.

I heard he was caught in a local hotel later that evening. Both the jacket and the bracelet were recovered. I smiled. I couldn’t have planned it better; that bracelet was becoming too hot to handle. Now I could get on with the business of selling the rest of the haul.




Some tips for a streak free tan!

Source: Some tips for a streak free tan!

Some tips for a streak free tan!

Hi, it’s that time of year again when we feel we should be glowing with a healthy tan. But is there such a thing as a healthy tan? Apparently not, because to tan we have to burn our skin and that can never be a healthy thing to do. This is where faking it comes into its own. If done properly, you can look as if you’ve spent two glorious weeks in the Caribbean rather than half an hour in the bathroom. Follow these simple steps for a beautiful, healthy all-year-round tan.

Items you will need:

  • Exfoliator (I prefer the creamy ones as they moisturise too)
  • Body Moisturiser
  • Self Tanning Lotion
  • Tanning Mit or latex gloves
  • Loose fitting dark coloured t-shirt

How to get the glow:

  1. Get in the shower and exfoliate your body all over, paying particular attention to wrists, knuckles, elbows, knees and ankles
  2. Pat skin dry with soft, warm towel
  3. Apply moisturiser lightly to wrists, knuckles, elbows, knees and ankles
  4. Blot these areas with a tissue after thirty seconds
  5. Apply self tan beginning at the feet and working up the body, covering all areas
  6. Leave to dry for specified time (usually 5/10 minutes)
  7. Wear a loose, dark t-shirt for the next few hours or if going to bed

Follow-up tips:

It’s always best to go lightly with the first application so you can gauge how dark you want to go. If it is too light, re-apply as before, taking care with any dry areas. To keep your tan looking good, use a gentle soap-less shower creme and follow with moisturiser.

A really helpful tip if you have open pores on your legs, is to rub a bag of frozen peas over the pores to prevent those nasty little brown spots.

Always prepare your skin by removing hair at least 24 hours before applying fake tan and don’t apply moisturiser unless your skin is very dry (although ankles, knees etc usually need a little). As with all skills, practice makes perfect, so keep applying every 5 – 7 days, always exfoliate to remove dead skin cells and always moisturise afterwards to keep your tan in tip top condition. Now all you have to do is glow!




What If? – Challenge by Indecisive Eejit

The above challenge asks you if you awoke tomorrow with three new skills, what they would be, this was my answer.

Eh…that would be:

1) Make time stand still while I had a lie-in, leisurely bath, updated my fb page, put my makeup on, got the best parking space and still got into work before everyone else, sitting at my desk with a coffee, looking fresh as a daisy – and it was still only 8am, magic! Also I could stop time then change the winning lottery balls to mine and be a millionaire.

2) Hypnotise people to laugh at all my jokes, tell me I’m right ALL the time and vote for me in the next election.

3) Be a super, duper dancer… then Peter Andre and I could sizzle together on Strictly Come Dancing making the whole world and their Auntie sooooo jealous, yeah babe!! 😉

What would your three super skills be? Take up the challenge at:  http://okaywhatif.com/

New Year Overhaul – Get yourself looking Gorgeous!

Source: New Year Overhaul – Get yourself looking Gorgeous!

Writing Well: Magical Modifiers

This is a super post for all aspiring writers about the use of modifiers – adverbs and adjectives and how they can be put to good in writing – I know, it’s surprising isn’t it. Enjoy 🙂

Live to Write - Write to Live

road hell adverbsEvery once in a while, you come across a discovery that gives you the opportunity to transform your writing. This post is about just such a discovery.

The road to hell is paved with adverbs, so says Stephen King. And, who am I to argue with Mr. King.

In Dead Poet’s Society, Robin Williams’ character, John Keating, forbids his students to use the word very (the most heinously bland and meaningless modifier of them all), “… because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose.”

The case against adverbs is a strong one, with revered authors from every era and genre giving impassioned testimony against this eternal enemy of good writing:

  • “Adverbs are another indication of writing failure. Exactly the right verb can eliminate the need for the adverb.” William Sloane
  • “Omit needless words. Watch for adverbs that merely repeat…

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What if…you woke up in Karma Land?

Yes, it gets the imagination going, asking yourself What If? I had fun with this post 🙂

Okay, What if ?

Submitted what if post from Ally of Allychat’s Blog. Thank you Ally! Or should I say sorry? Might have to think about this one a bit myself!


What if it was exactly as it is now but every day for a month you met everyone you had ever said or done anything bad to?

What if you had to live these situations over and over again every day until you got it right?

What if hell is where we get to live through all the times we flumped, all the times we thought we got away with it, all the times we weren’t quite honest?

What if every little thing we did was on record and had to be paid for (gulp)?

What if we all had our very own Groundhog Day?

In case that ever happens I’m going to come clean. *Deep Breath*

To my sister; Remember the…

View original post 389 more words

Christmas is coming…

I can’t believe it’s nearly Christmas again! Where has this year gone? I get all nostalgic and sentimental at Christmas. As usual I’ll watch “It’s A Wonderful Life” and cry (because I’ll be full of the red wine – it makes me sentimental too), and I’ve already written my letter to Santa. I think this year I’ve asked him for far less than previous years. Here’s my list:

Flower Bomb Perfume (largest one in the world please)

Armani Coat, (jacket and suit will be accepted to :))

Jimmy Choos (3 pairs please: black, red and blue)

Diamond Bracelet, (necklace and ring too)

Blue leather bag from Fossil (I also like the red, tan and black ones too thanks)

Rose gold watch with pale blue face (from Fossil), or any run of the mill diamond one.

Creme de la Mer (large)

A month’s holiday in Carribean (or three month cruise)

Couple of nights with Gino de Campo (well…he can cook can’t he?) and/or Leonardo di Caprio/Mark Wahlberg

Huge box of Belgian chocolates

A winning lottery ticket

That’s all. I’m not greedy, no really…I’d be perfectly happy with these.

Oh, all right then…a case of Chateauneuf du Pape (don’t know if I’ve spelt this properly, or even if I’ve spelt ‘spelt’ properly or should it be spelled? hmm…)

I love Christmas, up until about 14th December, then it gets frantic. Last year I was almost knocked down by a woman with severe trolley rage in Asda (but I won’t be there this year, that’s for sure). She was ramming people with her mad trolley but pretending she didn’t see them, then being all nice and apologising. I followed her (yeah, I know I’m sad) and she did the same thing to a woman in the next aisle. I hope she got a sock full of ashes from Santa.

End of 1st Term Already

Can’t believe it’s the end of the first term already. A bitty disappointed that I’ve not written that best seller yet, thought it would be soooo easy! I’ve learned so much that I didn’t know about writing so it’s really paying off, but finding it a little bit harder to write the tosh I used to, now I’m looking at it more deeply, which isn’t good if you want to write silly nonsense – only kidding! I want to write something sensational like 50 Shades of Brown…in fact I’ve started it already. Watch this space…coming soon…the story I mean!
Read while your intellectual brain turns to mush 🙂 x

New Writing Course

I finally did it, I’ve enrolled in a new writing course and am soooo looking forward to it. I’m hoping it will be better than the last so-called creative writing course I took at a local college last year, and was very disappointed.  This particular college runs evening classes but the general attitude regarding the courses seem to be that we are a crowd of people just looking for something to do to get out of the house for the evening.  This annoys me because I really do want to write.  I want to learn the craft.  These colleges are charging money for nothing, and where do they get the attitude that it’s okay to do this?  I once did an evening course in hairdressing where it became apparent the tutor knew very little about hairdressing, resulting in us all making a right mess of each others hair, under her less than expert tuition.  I remember leaving with a hairdo that resembled Rod Stewart on a very bad day.  My colleague was worse, she looked as if her hair had been cut with a knife and fork! Her lovely long locks had been hacked to within an inch of its life, she still shudders to this day when I mention our hairdressing days.  I’m not saying that all colleges are like this, or indeed all tutors, but this one college seems to be particularly bad for wasting people’s time and money.  So hopefully, this latest course will be good, (it’s at a more reputable college, I hope – fingers, legs and eyes crossed!) but if it’s not I will be demanding my money back sooner rather than later.  Watch this space…

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